The Story of Codemess

It’s that time of the season, so it’s time for a story…eiMAogLin

’Twas the night before review

The team stayed up late
To get all the stories done;
Tasks cleaned off their plate.

The CI server
Pulled all of the code
Mongo, Apache,
and a server named Node.

Each dev checked in their bits
Fast as light
Check the acceptance criteria? Pshaw!
I want to go home tonight.

So assumptions were made
With no consultation
And when the code built successfully,
The team squealed with elation!

But they skipped some tests
That kept showing up red
And just prayed that the demo
Would run and not be dead.

So next day was show time
They filed in with fake smiles
The Scrum Master put on all of her charms
And her witty guiles.

They fired up the screens
And showed all their work
The Product Owner turned red
He knew he was going to feel like a jerk.

He couldn’t accept not one
Not two, three, nor four
All stores had failed
Absolutely no score.

So nothing was right
While their efforts were of heroes
All of their stories
The points completed were zeroes.

A failed Sprint they had
One to be remembered
They should be glad
They had not been dismembered.

How they had worked
Needed serious reflection
But to hell with the retro
On to make this damn correction.

So off the team went
Stuck that they knew right
To code and recode
Many a more sleepless night.

The team talked to no one
Silence fell on them all
The Product Owner was be-puzzled
They never did call.

So with that I must state
Team and Product Owner should be as one
Collaborate more often
More stories will get “done-done”.

Keep to your retros
Use them to explore
The reasons for failure
I deeply ask, no implore!

Then enjoy your holidays
With family and good friends
Use the values and principles
As the means to the ends.

So Merry Christmas; Joyous Mawlid el-Nabi
And Happy Rohatsu and Hanukah
And any other you celebrate
Like Yule, Solstice or Kwanzaa.

Happy Holidays may it be filled with tests of green and zero of red…

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